Japanniversay part deux.

Through September------

Wow. So last blog was in April eh? I've been so busy with updating my life, that I haven't been able to update my blog. Many things have happened/changed since my last entry.

We are now about half way through the year at my not-so-new-job. It's been a whirlwind of many different types of things. firstly, I love my class. the group of kids that I have are amazing. Watching them learn, grow, and develop, has been the highlight of my time in Japan. Recently, we've started giving the kids spelling tests, and it was really difficult. The first couple of weeks were a bit rocky, but at the Sport's Festival everyone did so well! I almost cried. Almost. ^^

My job is difficult but rewarding. I love seeing all the kids, not just my class, on a daily basis. They've all made changes, some big and some small, but it's quite the miracle. Being head teacher isn't easy. I have a lot of responsibility, and like most people in management positions, other people have no clue what managers do. My goal is to always try my best, and be as fair as possible to everyone. In order to do that, I try to keep a very clear line between work and social life, and that's not always easy. I want to be friends, but I don't want to compromise my judgment either. So as always, balance.

Fall is here finally! I survived summer. Actually, summer isn't as bad as people always complain about. I slept with my heavy down comforter all summer long. I think a couple of nights I only used the sheet, but usually I slept with my comforter. The hard thing is really the humidity. It's pretty terrible. I am such a wuss when it comes to weather. I think about the weather a lot. I obsessively check the different weather reports, and try to stay away from nature as much as possible. >_< I basically stayed inside, in my A/C'd apartment most of summer. ^^ This seemed to serve me quite well. I don't like discomfort. >_<

I did do a few things though. I went to Taiwan for Golden Week in May. It was one of the greatest things every to see Nancy again after so long. I missed her so much! It'd been almost 10 years since I'd seen her. It was great to just sit and catch up, and just like any good friend, it was like we had never parted. We picked up exactly where we'd left off years ago.

Another highlight was seeing Jennifer. She's been such a great friend to me.... every since Berkeley. She's pushed me forward even when I didn't think it was possible to move forward. I am eternally grateful for her kindness. She is now living it up in Australia. I am not sure if I will be able to make it there before she leaves, but it was great seeing her in Taiwan before she left.

Besties old and new. Jennifer left, Nancy middle and me!

I also got to see Murial and Emmanuelle! I've seen Emm in 3 different countries now! Jennifer too! ^^ I hope our travels and career paths send us in the same direction again someday soon. ^^ Murial also seems to be doing well. She speaks so much Chinese now that she's forgetting her Japanese. lol.

All in all, Taiwan was a great trip. I didn't actually do anything either. We didn't see any museums, we didn't go to any parks, or see anything special.... all we did was eat and shop. It was super relaxing, recharging, and heart-warming. I felt like I was at home with Jennifer and Nancy with me. Taiwan feels almost as close to me as Japan- and the food is cheaper there too! ^^

Jumping ahead, we had a BBQ in August. It was a lot of fun! We got to hang out at a fun beach with a lot of friends. It was soooooo hot though, I thought I was gonna die. The water was nice and the food was good, so I think everyone had a great time. ^^

The bbq gang.

----------> through December

Well, so many things have happened since the last draft I started even. lol. One thing I should note, is that since Mandy returned home in April, my Saturday nights were a little lonely, but perked up once my new friendships with Go and Oscar (not so new) melded with my relationship with Maki. The four of us basically hang out every single weekend. I still miss Mandy lots. I don't think my impression of Japan would even be the same without her company in the first year I was here. It was a pretty big blow when she left. I am so grateful for Maki, Go, and Oscar for keeping me company since then. <3

My goodbye ECC dinner with Mandy.

One of the things I did for my birthday this year was go to Korea! It was the first time I had been to Korea, but one of the places I'd always wanted to go to. I HAD SOOOOOOO MUCH FUN!!!!!! It was also the first time I had ever been on an actual vacation with a friend. This is serious business. Friends can be great friends, but you never know if you're good travel buddies. See, I am the type who likes to do a lot of local things. I like to get a feel for the atmosphere and the culture. I usually want to pick one or two touristy things, but mostly stay off the radar. I pick a few days that I will force myself to go for an ungodly amount of time and relax the rest of the time. I feel no need to hurry when I am on vacation because a vacation is supposed to be fun- in my opinion- and I want to enjoy it. This is something I have learned with time. As it turns out, Maki is the same way. She'd been to Korea several times in the past, so she didn't really care to do any of the touristy things either. We did a lot of hanging out with her Korean friends, and shopped at local markets, and hit up the hottest bar/club in Seoul. I think I would have no problem living in Seoul. I think I could live in almost any major city, in any first world country. lol. I couldn't live in Bangkok, for example, but I could easily see myself living in Paris, Seoul, Taipei, or L.A./S.F. Anyway, Korea- loved it. I can't wait to go back actually. ^^

I have food in my mouth in this pic. -.-

I got to see Judy yay!!!!

Also for my birthday, Maki, Go, Oscar, and I went to Toba (where Maki's family has a timeshare condo), for the weekend. I think it was one of the best times I've ever had anywhere. It was one of those perfect moment times. The kind of time when you look around and you are hyper aware of the fact that this is one of those "special moments" in your life. Maki and I brought laver (Korean seaweed snacks), soju (Korean alcohol), and face masks from Korea for the boys. We made them wear them with us during our pajama party. The result was quite wonderful. I really wish I could upload the video!

Oscar and I looking scary.

Oscar creepin on Maki!

Then in October we celebrated Halloween at school. I get to do all sorts of crafts with my kids. All the things I remember making as a child, I can make with my kids now. All the memories I am creating for them come from the dreams I had of being a teacher one day. It really is exactly what I've wanted to do. My job is not east by any means. I am often tired. I've started drinking coffee. The amount of work these kids do at their age is amazing and terrifying. We are having a Christmas concert in two weeks!

I am constantly reminding myself that they are only 5 years old. We push them so hard, and try to let them enjoy their childhood at the same time. It's a really delicate balance. Because they are so mature though, we do get to do a lot of things with them that I could probably not do with a child of the same age in the states. It also makes me wonder, if I ever have kids, how hard will I push them? I am seeing the limits of what children are capable of now. The amount my kids have progressed and changed over the last 8 months is amazing. I want to push them harder because I know they can do more. I want them to be confident and resilient to Japanese society when they get older. Japanese school is tough. Teachers are so strict. Little kids are sooooo stressed out here. Suicide is very high. With all that in mind, I push my kids so they know how to work hard and succeed in Japanese society, but I praise them and give them tons of hugs and love so they are confident in themselves. I think a lot about my job. I think a lot about my kids. One time I had a guy ask me, "how many kids *DO* you have???" I realized he actually thought my students were my kids.

On the subject of dating, dating is really different here in Japan. It's never black and white. It's never clear cut. Just like everyone else in this world, my mind is multifaceted. In some ways I can be very girly but in most ways, I am practical. When my ex told me he loved me, I told him I would respond after I thought about how I felt for a while. Not that I didn't love him, but I wanted to make sure that it wasn't infatuation. When I say, "I love you", it should be with real meaning. Recently, I was thinking about moving, staying, trying to decide my future plans. A guy I have been going out with (more on that later) said to me, "I didn't give you my opinion because I didn't want to decide your future." Basically he wanted to let me decide my future without giving me any pressure. That is very sweet. The sentiment behind it is very sweet. My response was, "I never decide my future based on a guy. You can be a factor in my decision but you alone cannot carry any decision." Ugh, this is why people call me "ice queen". lol. I'd like to think I am very level headed- most of the time. *shrug*

So anyway, there is a guy that I have been kind of going out with recently. He's the friend of a friend. He lives in Osaka, which is a few hours train ride away from here (unless you take the shinkansen which is a bit pricey but 45 min train ride). He's 34, going on 35. Nice guy. Obviously I can't write too much, but we'll see. Currently, I have no idea what's going on. lol.

Well Christmas is coming up soon. This past weekend we celebrated Thanksgiving with about 25 people here in Nagoya. It was a grand feast. Turkey, stuffing, and every fixin' you can think of attended the feast. Now that Thanksgiving is over, I have 2 weeks until I go home for CHRISTMAS! YAY!!! I can hardly wait until I go home. This time it's been a year since I've been home and it actually feels like it's been a year. I have missed my dog, my sister, my mom, my beka.... ITS BEEN SOOOO LONG SINCE IVE HAD GOOD MEXICAN FOOD! I miss my grandparents a lot. I miss my dad too. I know he isn't alive anymore, but I feel closer to him when I am near my aunts...but I also feel my dad around when I do certain things.....like when I make Spanish rice. I can hear him telling me over and over not to burn the garlic. Or in the way my kids will say, "that's right" in the tone I say it, which is something I picked up from my dad. There are so many things I wish I could tell him. I also haven't had a chance to say goodbye to my cousin properly yet either. I haven't been able to hug my aunt. I feel like there are things I need to do at home.

Anyway, I am excited. My future is ever wide. December 1st marks my 2 year anniversary in Japan. I can't even believe it. lol. I always feel myself moving forward which is good but also a bit scary. I guess we will have to wait and see what happens next! Until the next post....!

the neglected blog

march 20th.

welp, i guess its time to dust off the cobwebs from this blog. i know its been quite a while since my last entry, but my goal was to write once a month for the first year that i was in japan, and well, i did that. i got from november to november, basically writing every month. thats not to say that i plan on abandoning my blog, i do plan on updating this as frequently as possible, but only when interesting things happen. i feel kinda lame sharing the things that are mundane in my life. i think at this point the newness of living in japan is gone and ive completed settling into my life here in nagoya.i often think about posting a lot of things though... just have to wait until ive compiled a list long enough for a blog. ^^;; actually, i guess i dont. my friend cindy often posts really short blogs... kind of like thought bubbles, that i really enjoy reading. my sister always complains that she has to sit down for at least a half hour to read my blog. lol. hrm. balance.

today i dyed my hair. i dyed it black again... the color was fading and my grey hair was showing... when i was in high school it was fun to have grey hair... now i feel old. -.- i also cut bangs the other day. i did it myself! lolol. they didnt turn out bad either! ^^ i also cut down my nails... they were long and beautiful, but i have to have them short for the next chapter in my life. thus, my hair is solidly black, my nails are short and neutral colored. T_T i feel normal. blah. 

so lets see... updates... i went home in december.

i think the clouds are prettier in l.a.

first time in a year since i got to see the familia. i missed my niece soooooo much! she is such a special little child in my life. i only have 2 pictures in my room, one of my niece and one of my dog. lol. they are both like my children. when i am away i miss them both terribly. to be honest, im not sure how ive made it this long without my chibi. seeing his little face was the only thing that kept me moving when after my dad passed away. dogs are stupidly loyal, but so am i, so i can respect that about dogs. 

i have the cutest puppy.

as for my niece, i am always amazed at the beautiful, intelligent, inquisitive young lady she is becoming. as long as my sister and brother-in-law continue to nurture that in my niece, i believe she will accomplish many great things.

cin and beks making cookies for santa!

my mom made enchiladas for me.

behold all of the goodness. thaaaank you mom!

she learned how to make them from my dads mom. i dont know how long the recipe has been in the family, but ive never had any others like them and (in my opinion), nothing compares to them. ^^ overall it was a great success being home. ^^

another highlight from my trip was my weekend excursion to santa barbara with the ladies, and daniel. ^^ lots of kpop, giggles, games, makeup, and food was had. we went to the beach in WINTER! god i love los angeles. we have the best weather ever. it was a little cool, but not cold. my friends really are the best. i love them all dearly.

some of the other highlights from my trip, were seeing my grandparents, parents, cousins, aunts, james, bobby, and the two new babies. i miss my grandpa. he is one of the greatest people ive ever known. his sense of humor is always on point, and his sense of morality runs very deep. we did lots of things but mostly eating. i ate a LOT of mexican food. a LOT.

first meal of the trip, mexican OF COURSE!

lol. i dont know how i ate so much... but i was basically sick of eating it by the time i got back. lol. is that really possible?? maybe. lol. the mediocre food here is barely enough to wet my tastebuds. if i want mexican food, i have to cook it myself... but i ate a lot and it was good. ^^

when it was time to say goodbye, it was really hard for me to leave my dog. he wailed and sobbed. thinking about it makes me tear. i will be with him again. as soon as i figure out my life, he will come with me. my niece also had a hard time saying goodbye. i didnt realize how hard it was on her to say goodbye but one minute she was helping me with my bags, and the next minute she was sobbing away. once shes a little older we will be able to skype each other easier. my sister was supposed to set up facetime with my niece... but my sister flaked out on my 3 times. T_T she also forgets and gets sidetracked... so im guessing it hasnt been done yet. yes, its been 3 months... not that i am waiting cindy!

when i got back, i had to get back into the swing of work. nagoya is cold during winter... the air is dry and it makes my throat hurt. ive been sick a lot here... mostly getting used to different germs and different colds going around. i think i am over the worst of it though.

i think i mentioned this a while ago, but there was a guy who started sitting next to me on the train. he sat next to me faithfully for several months. kind of a creepy guy, but maybe 5'3 in stature and not a very big build... so i was never worried. he never spoke to me. he smiled when he would sit down and smiled when he left, but we never spoke. bobby dubbed this, "meitetsu love story. love begins at a stop," and i would often joke that he was my love interest... but actually he was a creeper. ^^;; when he smiled, he was missing his back teeth... and he would also sit a little too close. but, like i said, i could take him if i wanted to. ^^;; anyway, i was amused but not interested. ^^;; anyway, i finished my last wednesday shift last week and ended up sitting next to someone else... so.... we never said goodbye. after 6 months my story ends. my sister says that hes going to look for me on trains for the rest of his life. lolololol. that would be an interesting story twist, but i think our story ended well. im sure he will find someone else to creep on. ^^;;

from april 6th to now. ^^

so, now that ive finally left my old job, i can plainly state that I HAVE A NEW JOB!!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!! it was kind of obnoxious that i couldnt say anything... and to the point that some people actually wanted me to lie about why i was leaving and where i was going. i am FUNDAMENTALLY AGAINST lying to people. also, leaving was a bit of a pain. for whatever reason leaving a company isnt easy....

in all honesty, i worked really hard. i always work hard. on all of my reviews- with a possible score of 95 (i think), with 10 possible bonus points, and my lowest score was 102. -.- i thought it was kinda lame that i never got any information on where to submit my badge, where to take my books, or even a thank you (not that i expect a thank you, but it would have been nice). i only got one phone call from personell telling me that i needed to take down my post about my new job and that i had to watch my words... and a subtle threat that my words were slanderous. ugh. here's the thing. the definition of slander is the stating malicious and/or false statements to harm the reputation of a person/group. I never said anything slanderous. i said i got a new job and said that i'd be making more money, have better hours, and have more time off. all of that is true.... and i most definitely did not say it with the intention of damaging their reputation.... anyway.

most of my schools were pretty great. i do feel very lucky to have had my eikaiwa position. i met a lot of really great people; great students, great staff, and a ton of fantastic coworkers. i think many of the relationships i built will be lifelong. also, it got me to japan on a 3 year visa, and traveling to all the different schools really allowed me to learn nagoya pretty well. also, the training i got was pretty good. i learned how to manage my classroom and deal with a variety of behavioral issues. i feel like it was a great baby step towards my new job.

my goodbye dinner. 

i also said goodbye to my kvp, the kindergarten program i was working in. i really loved going to my kindy... its probably the thing that pushed me towards this new job. i loved my kids there... and it was hard to say goodbye. we took a big class picture together.... they are soooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeee!!!

my new school has some pretty strict policies regarding privacy, so i cannot say too much, but so far i really like it. i am working really hard and i am constantly thinking about work, but i feel very satisfied with what i am doing. its a pretty swanky place with many swanky people. the staff is very friendly and they are all very close knit. its kind of strange for me to come in as head teacher, but i am working on building new relationships with the staff. i have soooo many things to learn, but i am trying...! lol.

hanami with 2 of my new coworkers! yay!

i finally feel like i am a real teacher. that makes me really happy. most of you already know that ive wanted to be a teacher since i was about 5 years old. i remember making worksheets for my sister and making her sit down and do them.... lol. yes, i was a bossy older sister. o_O when i first learned you could teach in japan, about the age of 8, i decided i wanted to live in japan and teach. well, i really really really took the long way here, but i finally did it. its a major life goal accomplished.... now if only i didnt live in nagoya. T_T i miss being in a big city... its soooooooooooooooooooo dreadfully small here.

i finally feel like i am a real teacher. that makes me really happy. most of you already know that ive wanted to be a teacher since i was about 5 years old. i remember making worksheets for my sister and making her sit down and do them.... lol. yes, i was a bossy older sister. o_O when i first learned you could teach in japan, about the age of 8, i decided i wanted to live in japan and teach. well, i really really really took the long way here, but i finally did it. its a major life goal accomplished.... now if only i didnt live in nagoya. T_T i miss being in a big city... its soooooooooooooooooooo dreadfully small here.

I went to the penis festival last month! ^^

they wanted me to do something suggestive with the lollipop but i thought just having a picture of it was enough for my family... lolol.

its actually a fertility festival, but since they have statues of penii and a float... and lots of candy in the shape of penii, all the foreigners have dubbed it such. a good time was had by all im sure. 

choco banana penii.

everyone rubs this one and then takes a picture with it. the old ladies told me this is why its so smooth. lololol. 

also, i realized that i really enjoy my own company. i mean, i knew this before but whenever i go somewhere, i always want to go alone. i always think im going to have more fun if i go alone. i dont really know if thats true or not.... but i like to take photos of things and i usually feel like a burden if im making people wait for me to set up a shot or annoyed with others for not letting me set up a shot. ^^;;

thats why.... i think i am going to taiwan alone! lol. i was going to go with maki but she seems a bit busy this month (and i am too) so we havent really talked about it. i really really wanna see jennifer and nancy, so i think im going to just go. i really like taiwan. ive already done all the touristy things, so i dont really want to do that stuff. mostly i wanna eat good food, shop and relax. i wanna spend some time with my good friends and take some time to shoot some (hopefully good) pictures. actually, aside from my trip to asia with bobby, and the two weeks my sister and i spent in france together (but i was already studying there.... so it almost doesnt count), ive never really taken a vacation with anyone. i think its kinda funny actually.... ^^;;

also! its SPRING!!!!!!!!!!! the weather is finally a bit warmer- and by warmer i mean high 50's- which isnt quite warm... lol. but at least it seems to be raining a bit less than it did last year. last week week i went to *4* hanami! lol. 花見 (hanami) means flower viewing. the first kanji is the kanji for "flower" and the second is "to look/see" everyone basically goes out and sits under the cherry blossoms and they have massive picnics. everyone. everywhere. lol. the parks are flooded with people. i really really like it. ^^.... anyway, i think i finally appreciated the cherry blossoms this year. they are absolutely beautiful and everyone is always sooo happy! as of today, i think they are all gone. they lasted about 8 days this year... but super strong winds and rain almost surely knocked them all off the trees now. it happens so quickly!

soooo pretty.

full bloom!

early afternoon shenanigans.

the park is so pretty at night!

with saori. <3

in very sad news.... we've lost mandy. ok, shes not dead... but shes in australia! which is reeeeeeally far away! i dont think ive actually processed the fact that shes gone yet... but seeing as how its saturday night and i am at home writing a blog instead of enjoying a delicious dinner somewhere, means i feel the loss! lol. before she left, we spent a lot of time hanging out. we even went to osaka for her birthday (ok, technically i was already training in osaka....) and had dinner at the hard rock cafe! omg i missed american food. lol. 

our last photo. i shouldve worn makeup. lol

i made a photo album for her as a going away present. i collected pictures from our year together... initially i was worried that i wouldnt have enough photos, but i easily had 100 photos and had a hard time deciding which photos were going to make the cut.  i had just enough time to print the last photo we took together from the dinner to add to the album. i hope she liked it. ^^

its funny... i go back and forth between moving. my apartment building is great. i have everything i want here. i like my space... but i feel like i could be closer to work... i really miss living in fushimi. nagoya is already such a small city... i feel like even at the main station i am too far away from the city. also it would be nice to be back on the blue line... because thats the line i take to work.... ugh... i donno. it doesnt help that yohsuke (stupid yohsuke) told me this building is where japanese people come to have sex with foreigners....  -.- ugh... i dont know! i need to sit still for a while maybe. i get ancia. 

i also bought a new camera (have you noted all the pictures yet??)! my poor old point and shoot camera was actually dead. completely and utterly dead. i was kind of disgruntled because bobby took it to israel in 2010? and it got aaaaall scratched... and it was hard to see the pictures... but my little blue camera went everywhere with me. yes, i do have an iphone but it dies easily and i like to take pictures! so anyway i went and had a quite lengthy conversation with the guy at bic camera and i think i settled on a good one. be ready for many many more pictures! (as if i didnt already take enough pictures.... )

hrm....lets see... cultural notes:

1. the shinkansen is the coolest train ever. i love riding it soooo much and i try to take it as often as possible. ^^ its soooo fast and soooo comfortable... its like being on a plane without any of the stress!!! its expensive... but a very nice way to travel. 

2. something thats really annoying here are trucks with loud speakers spouting random things like political jargon and other annoying things. AND they often start by 9am! i feel like im living in a nationalistic propaganda war. it doesnt happen often... but it was quite frequent during election time. WHO STILL USES LOUD SPEAKERS ON TRUCKS???? ugh. its annoying.

3. one of the more popular artists is kary pyamu pyamu. you kinda have to see it to believe it... but my friend chad is quite the fan of hers.... and shes playing in the background as i type this... i dont know why she gets stuck in my head! aaaah!

YOU MUST WATCH THIS! lol. you will be so confused.

4. also, in the last couple of japanese dramas that ive seen, at least 2 people have committed suicide. i actually cant remember the last time i saw suicide in an american drama... its quite rare.... i wonder what that says about our society. both are recent dramas... and both kinda dealt with the whole suicide as kinda.... "oh thats too bad... and life goes on..."

5. soooo many goodbyes.... i think thats just the nature of the business here....but with everyone in japan too. people get transferred a lot here! wth! every april there is a mass migration throughout the country.... but growing up where i grew up.... people dont leave very much... unless they join the military or go to jail. ^^;; im not good at goodbyes... especially permanent ones. ah well.

6. old people riding bicycles. like actual old people. riding bicycles. they dont always ride them well... but they do ride them.... i cant even imagine g or grams trying to ride a bike right now....

7. speaking of bikes, here are a couple of interesting bikes ive found:

rear child seat.

this bike had a read AND front childs seat. just cant be safe!

hand warmers! its freaking cold here... and if you notice the black thing in the middle, its for umbrellas! yes, people do attach umbrellas to their bikes. its REALLY ANNOYING.

8. knives vs. guns.... a lot of the dramas here show knives as the main weapon of attack. now... again, growing up where i grew up, the thought of being taken down by a knife is laughable. yes, i know you can in fact kill someone with a knife.... but every time i see it i giggle inside. japan really doesnt experience true crime very often.... i wonder which is better/less damaging.... obviously knowing crime/ seeing crime take place/ having it built in the culture, isnt great... but being docile/oblivious/unaware is also a disadvantageous.

9. japan has seasons. i hate it. ill never ever get used to having to go outside in the rain. i need to be rich enough that i can stay home when it rains.... i wonder what kind of job that is... construction worker? lol. sah... rain sucks.... so does cold! wth?! cold is lame. i hate being cold. BUT this year i bought my first official winter coat. i actually have a down jacket.... its really warm. im saddened that life has beaten me down enough to buy one... but i am warm. the fake down jackets just didnt keep me warm and i constantly thought i was dying. DYING!!!!!!!

last night i was the first time since october i slept without a heater... but its on again today cause its cold. *shakes fist*

10. i get tired of people being surprised that i can use chopsticks. should i also be surprised when people can use a fork? it happens a lot here.... i think foreigners really need to work on their cultural understanding of japan. they need to learn japanese and stop giving people like me a bad rap. i suffer soooo much because people come here, know nothing, dont learn anything, and make social faux paus.11. i saw it. underwear in a vending machine. i wanted to buy it for fun... but it was like $5 a pair... so i decided against it. also, side note, selling used underwear is actually illegal. these were *fresh* panties. ^^ aaand... the style of underwear people like in japan seems to be of the granny type... which is kinda eeeew.

12. rilakuma condoms: rilakuma is a sanrio (hello kitty) character. clearly, these are not to be used by children. -.-

disturbingly cute condoms... sorry guys but if you came at me with one of these, i might laugh you out of my house. 

caption says, "cant we spend the night together?"

Today I made 3 types of kimchi. i am eager for it to be ready (they take a while to ferment)! I also made veggie patties for hamburgers. THEY WERE FANTASTIC! my mouth was so happy. i have 10 more in the fridge for later! eeee!!1 next week, a new mole sauce, rice krispy treats, and corn tortillas.

finally, i think i need to start working on some sort of scholarship again. my brain is itching for something.... im thinking of looking over some manuscripts... perhaps polishing up my thesis.... or looking over my classical japanese. i couldnt find my notes when i went back home... so im kinda bummed about it.... but i need to keep my brain thinking about these things so i can stay on top of my field. aaaand yes, its true that i study things from hundreds of years ago.... BUT WHAT IF THERES A BREAK THROUGH!! O-O i really want to get my thesis published too.

ok... guess thats all for now.... ill try not to stay away for so long. ^^

xoxo

frigid

wow, so its been a while since my last post. its hard to explain the whirlwind of things that have happened since my last post. most recently ive been sick. i think... i think i had allergies that somehow morphed into a flu... ive never really had allergies, nor do i have any idea what i might be allergic to... so theres no way for me to prevent it really. -.-

in my last post i had just gotten back from tokyo i think... since then many things have happened. such as:

my favoritist restaurant closed down. issa, the owner, was having problems with the building owner so he decided to close instead of move... BUMMER! i really want misoya too... i need to make friends with another store owner real soon.

THEN the bar mandy and i liked also closed. apparently the owner filed bankruptcy and committed suicide. wtf...?? it closed down just 2 weeks after my birthday too... geez. perhaps my patronage brings bad karma? o.O i donno... but i was majorly bummed. im back in search of new places to hang out here in nagoya...

earlier in october i headed down to kyoto for a day trip with mandy. we realized that she and i had never actually "vacationed" together. odd isnt it? im with mandy all the time... but being friends with someone and travelling with them are two entirely different stories. hanging in a mutually desirable for a few hours at a time is easy. spending 24 hours in close contact with someone doesnt always work out the same way. im kind of a moody person. i dont really like people after being with them for too long. also, i dont like nature, or all that icky stuff that people tend to enjoy on their vacations... so my needs are often different from most. all i need is good food, good cityscapes and nice weather. i dont want to go hiking or skiing or anything too complicated. just relax and take some pictures.

thankfully mandy already knows this about me, so when we embarked on our tour of kyoto together, we didnt plan to see temples or hike or anything like that. personally, i think if youve seen one temple, youve seen them all. same with castles. after a while they all look the same and i dont care if there are peaches, or sakura... or if theyre gold or silver or neon green for that matter.... mandy and i instead went to a really super large flea market and bought some pretty delicious dried fruit. then we went to visit jennifer in her macha cafe (macha = green tea) and then we had dinner with ariel and nicky and josh.

it was really great actually. i love my friends. i have no greater sense of peace and belonging than when i am with them. this is us at the restaurant near the kamo river. who would have thought we'd all be here 5 years ago? i certainly didnt.

other highlights from october... i got a flat stanley! my old friend from junior high school sent me an email asking if her daughter could send me a letter.... so i said sure. when it got here i was surprised to see what i got!

her name was mya and i had her for about 2 weeks. i took her pretty much everywhere i went....  like this:

 and then before i sent her back home i collected a bunch of random things from japan for her class. i really had a great time with her. 

also in october i went to little world. little world is basically a living city/amusement park where you go and experience living in another country. kind of like a real life small world... hence little world. lol. you can eat foods from different countries, dress up in foreign clothes, watch performances, and shop! 

i chose to do archery at the native american exhibit! ^^

i also made pottery! theres a famous place in tokoname where you can make your own pottery... 

my teacher is making sure my vase is stable. ^^

i made a vase and a cup. i should be able to get it this weekend! weeeee!!!!

one of the highlights for me was of course halloween! i love love love halloween so it was really exciting to make crafts with all the kids. i am also apart of the kindergarden visiting program so i went to quite a few preschools to give special halloween event lessons. ^^

this was right before an event lesson with my friend sean. hes goku from dragonball. ^^

this is me with my regular class at handa, with my friend atsumi. ^^ i love this class. theyre all crazy. as you can see we're all holding black spiders... that was our halloween craft. ^^

so yea, i had two costumes, one for work and one for after work. i went to a place called "red rock." its an australian bar... did you know they dont celebrate halloween in australia??? insanity. but, mandy was a great sport anyway and dressed up. ^^

this is our group. ^^ it was sooo much fun!

so... that brings me to november already. i VOTED! i find voting to be a right of mine that is quite precious.... in a way thats difficult to explain. politics are important to me and i want to see the u.s. do well... the only way that happens is if we make politicians accountable for their actions- which we do by voting. anyway, without going on a political rant, i voted. i voted for obama. there was very little doubt in my mind that he was going to win because if you follow politics at all, the electoral college was almost certainly in his favor.... anyway... it all turned out neatly in the way i had hoped. 

the night of the election we had an obama party. ^^ dubbed "the democratic party." yes, we are all geeks. -.-

so lets see... that was last week. i finally broke down and bought a heater and a humidifier last week because my throat kept bleeding. probably tmi... but it was sooooooooo painful. now my throat is moist and my room is toasty. now if only i could get over this flu.... ugh.... 

sometimes i wonder how i got here. its weird. i always used to say id live in japan... the idea is still slightly surreal. how did it actually happen? i donno. i wonder about my life sometimes. 

sometimes i wish i was- ok very infrequently- but once in a while i wonder what my life would have been like had i settled down and had kids. but i think, i think i am really in tune with myself. i basically know whats good for me and whats not... though the choices are not always easy. 

right now i am feeling my life changing again. this month, on nov. 30th, it will be one year here in japan. it boggles my mind. i still pick up the phone to call my dad, only not is he gone, but ive never called him from this phone. 

soon i will have to make more choices. hopefully they wont be too difficult... but saying goodbye and starting anew is always bittersweet. my goal is by this time next year to be in a place where my life is finally on a steady and forward moving path. it kinda is now... but im changing it. heh. ^^;; but next year....!

on that note, i will be home in *5* weeeeeeeeeks! but who's counting...? ^^ i am soooo freaking excited im gonna wet my pants. ok maybe not... but i might be willing to dish out a few hugs. o.O *gasp* i have a list a mile long for when i get home... i really want to go to le pappillon... i wonder if i can convince jason to take me again... then id really need to get up north... hehe. time time time... never enough time... 

also, might i add WE NEVER HAD FALL! ITS FAWKING COLD ALREADY!!!!!!  I HATE JAPANS WEATHER! *deep breaths*

i guess i should sleep now. thinking about my future is tiring. -.- 

silver is better than gold.

hello again! 

well its been another month since my last post. i dont understand how time can move soooo quickly! its such a strange concept... time. never stopping... never ending- so far. lol. 

ive been in my new apartment for over a month now! to be honest, its great. i really like it here. the staff at the apartment complex are really wonderful. i havent seen any sizable bugs in or near my apartment either- which i am totally fine with. my roommate is also actually really cool. i initially held off making any sort of definitive statement because i am always overly cautious about such things, but have come to the conclusion that i really like her. we get along peacefully and our space is calm. living near nagoya station is really awesome too. having access to a bike- should i ever need one- is great. having a gym in my complex is also pretty awesome. 

ive been going to the gym semi regularly. i havent been there this week because, well, i am exhausted! last month was obon season with lots and lots of vacation time... then september started off before i knew it... then my birthday (which hasnt been a reason to celebrate in years), and silver week this week. 

september is usually my favorite month... even back home because i love love love fall. all my favorite foods are in season in fall... the weather is nice and the evenings are beautiful. the weather is finally starting to cool down here as well.  the super nasty heat that comes with 80% humidity is slowly fading into cooler, less humid days. i can hardly wait to start baking... but that time is coming soon enough i imagine... i am certainly not going to rush winter... >_< i hate winter.... 

silver week is this week. we have a few holidays... we had one on monday for old people. its called "respect for the aged" day. i love me some old people, so naturally i celebrated it by enjoying my departing youth in tokyo! 

well no, first, on monday i got a text from jennifer asking me what time i got home. she took a 5 hour bus ride to come to nagoya station to meet me for dinner! she took me to dinner at a nice little restaurant near the station and we sat and hung out for about 2 hours and then she took the last shinkansen back to kyoto! now tell me, how is she not the most awesome person ever? seriously i dont even know how i am lucky enough to be friends with her. shes one of the kindest people ive ever met. <3 its so amazing having my best friends here near me. i suffered so much without them!

since my birthday falls during silver week, i took a mini-vacation. my birthday was wednesday and i had a birthday party at my favorite bar. i was pretty relieved that i was able to invite many of my ecc friends without them embarrassing me. the thing is, ive heard so many stories from friends about how the americans got loud and drunk and they all got kicked out of this place or that place. one of my friends told me that on his birthday last year he went to his favorite bar and they kicked them all out and asked them never to come back again... sah. this is what happens when people who are not taught to live like responsible individuals come to japan... they embarrass us as a nation! *grumbles* anyway, that was my fear, but thankfully, the 25 or so people who came were calm, respectable humans and we all enjoyed ourselves peacefully. the bar that we went to was great too. the owner is super cool. they dont speak any english but theyre so friendly and chatty. i really had a great time. 

also, yes about 25 people showed up! to my party! eeek! talk about social overload. i really had a great time though. i also got some really cool presents! i keep forgetting that this is why i like to have birthday parties... presents! i got some very cool things this year too! notable items were: a very pretty hand towel, bubble baths and bath salts, plants for my garden, a book, and a really cool hand made poster of my favorite korean actor. can you hear all my squeals as i opened that?!!? atsumi is such a doll. its one of the cutest things anyone has ever made for me! i am fairly certain i will keep it always. <3

yohsuke came too! talk about shock! ok, well he was only there for about 5 minutes... he came, went to the bathroom, gave me my present and told me i couldnt open it in front of people, then scampered off again. i waited until the party died down before opening it. it's a book called, "いつも一緒にいたいから..." (itsumo issho ni itai kara = i always want to be together because... ). It's about a boy and his bunny and explains how important it is... highlights from the book are:

どんな時にも一番そばにいてほしい人。-at any time you are the person i want the closest.

誰よりも一番大切な人。- you are more important that anyone.

一日一日をどれだけ大切にすごしているだろう... 長い人生からみたら。taking (things) day by day importantly... because i see a long life. 

not gonna lie, its one of the nicest things i've ever gotten from anyone, ever. my love of books runs so deeply that anyone who would know to get me a book is instantly up a point or two in my book! what does it all mean? i donno. yohsuke and i stopped dating a while back... and aside from giving me the book last week, i haven't actually spoken to him since then. my friends seem its some sort of confession but i really have no idea. lol. we decided to be friends... so perhaps this is confirmation that we are super buddys? maybe i am dense? -.- but it is very sweet nonetheless. 

the next day was my birthday and i took the day off work. i spent the day relaxing and running simple errands around town. then i met with mandy for dinner. we had a pretty delicious nabe dinner and then i got on the night bus to tokyo. it was a pretty easy trip. i slept easily on the bus and when i woke up, i was in tokyo! i arrived in shinjuku and made my way over to tokyo station. i walked around for about 2 hours and then cara arrived. 

we had a really good time around the city! we did all the touristy things- since it was her first time in tokyo. i didnt really mind doing it all again either... though i couldve done without the shrines - if youve seen one, youve seen them all! also, harajuku was pretty crazy since it was a holiday weekend. >.<;; we rode a rickshaw... i went on a fairly unsuccessful slurpee hunt- turns out i should have been looking in another part of town, and got to meet my friends waka and jorge! i havent seen waka in almost 4 years! it was sooo great to see her! and she looks amazing! we took purikura, which i am sure you will all be able to see soon- as soon as i upload it, had indian dinner one night and korean food another. tokyo really is a grand place. i went to the ginza hello kitty store- which is supppper huge! AND i got some sees chocolates! nom nom nom. all in all, it was an amazing experience. cara and i are very different travelers but we made it work and i think we both had a good time.

i came back on monday night and started my new regular shift for ecc junior on tuesday. i will be working on tuesdays now from 9-12 and 330-930. its a pretty long day but i am making almost $100 for 3 hours of work... which you really cant beat. this will hopefully allow me to pay off my ticket home soon!

speaking of which- i got my ticket home for christmas! weeeeeeee! i am so excited to see everyone!!! ill be home from dec 23rd until jan 4th. i plan of spending most of my time with my family, especially chibi, cin, and beka, but i am sure i can manage to see a few friends in there too! i am getting more excited as the thought settles in... i am sure ill be giddy once it gets closer!

this weekend i am resuming my japanese lessons too! one of my highest level students offered to teach me japanese. she is a high school teacher and she is studying to be the vice principal of her school. she says she wants to teach me for free... which i know i cannot allow, but hopefully it will be something i can afford to do regularly. i really really really need to study more. i study often, but i need more focus! why am i soooo lazy?!! -.-

tomorrow i am meeting my friend ryusuke. hes visiting from tokyo and i am going to show him around osu- my favorite part of nagoya. he doesnt speak english so he is a bit nervous and of course i am a bit nervous about having to use my really bad japanese for the day... but im sure we will make it work. hehehe. should be able to... lol. 

ok, its time to rest now. i am going to clean my room in the morning, post pictures to facebook and study some japnaese before i meet my new teacher!

lots of great things to look forward to! i am excited and thankful for my life. ^_^ until next time...!!

convivial living.

Wow, so its been almost a month since my last post. I didnt intentionally take so long to post again but since I've been on Obon Vacation for the last 2 weeks, I didn't want to spend precious freedom blog writing. hehe.  its pretty freaking cool to have two weeks off during the summer... i havent had this since i was in school... and its FANTASTIC! lol. AND I GOT PAID! im amazed at how many people had this time off...

So I figure this will be a long-ish blog.  Please sit down, have a cup of coffee ready (possibly tea) and buckle down for the large (albeit super interesting) reading you are about to do!

Just before my vacation started, my friend Emmanuelle visited Japan! I haven't seen Emmanuelle since about 2009, so it was such an awesome reunion! We met at Kyoto station, in Kyoto, and spent the day wandering around the city.  The day was super hot, so we went to a random hotel for a while and sat and talked for hours until the sunlight relaxed a bit.  I love talking to smart people about smart things.... Talking to Emmanuelle reminds me of all the things I love about studying English literature and living in France.

Highlights from our day in Kyoto:

Emmanuelle's first Purikura

I found these little guys hanging out in front of a restaurant in kyoto... sooo cute!

these mocchi were to die for. you picked the flavoring of the mochi and then the filling you wanted. mine was a cinnamon pink outside with a berry filling and emm had something with peach. fantastic!

the view from where we ate dinner was beautiful!

special veggie dinner. 1 of 6 courses.

We asked the people at the restaurant if we could sit outside on the balcony and they said we would have to eat the set menu.  I usually cant eat the set menu because I am vegetarian and they almost never have a veggie option, but the people at this chinese restaurant offered to make me the same set menu vegetarian! ZOMG! it was soooooo good!!! ^_^

It was a really fantastic day.  We rode the shinkansen a bit of the way back together and then parted ways. It was such a wonderful feeling.  For someone like me, who puts so much meaning into friendships, this kind of thing is really important.  She is about to embark on some amazing adventures of her own and I am so excited for her.  I am constantly in awe of the people I know... !

So its summer here.  That means many different things to many different people but here in Japan, fireworks are abundant.  Almost every city has a festival with a fireworks display.  They are big and beautiful (only time youll hear me say that out loud. hehee)... but since it rains so often during summer, both festivals that I wanted to go to got rained on. T_T One major difference here too is that fireworks are sold just about everywhere. You can buy them in department stores, in convenience stores and malls. It's very strange to be in a place where there is so much faith in people to be responsible... 

One of the other really crazy things that happens here is the invasion of bugs. not little tiny bugs, but biiiig, large, gigantic, bugs. roaches that are about 3 inches long with wings that allow them to fly like a small bird. >_<;; The other invasive bug is the cicada.  They are noisy little creatures. Walking down any street at any time of day in Japan, you can hear them. The noise is almost deafening. I took some audio with my phone but realized that I can't upload just sound, so I found a good example of them on YouTube for you all to watch/listen to. This is pretty normal too. You don't even have to be in nature. Just walking down the street. THEYRE EVERYWHERE! Thankfully they usually keep themselves out of plain view of people, though as summer subsides, I am starting to notice their dead bodies littering the streets.  

noisy noisy noisy. >_<;;;

One thing I didnt see at all was the olympics.  Not that I didnt want to... but my natural aversion to TV and my general laziness prevented me from ever putting in any sort of effort to watch it.  That being said, it was a huge deal here in Japan.  Every time Japan won a gold medal, I would hear about it from at least 10 different people that day.  Anytime the US would play Japan in an event, I would hear about the result.  I was amused. I vaguely wish I had watched it a bit more but knowing that we crushed China in the medal count makes me pretty happy. ^^;;

One of the first things I did over my summer break was visit Ise Shrine. You might remember that I visited this shrine earlier in the year but it rained so hard that I decided not to go to the actual shrine part. This time I met my student Hiroshi and he insisted that I go all the way into the shrine, so we did. I made the trek like so many others before me. It's probably the most famous shrine in all of Japan. It was a pretty hot day too! Also the cicadas were super noisy.... 

the main gates leading to ise.

my student says that now that ive been to ise and prayed at the ise shrine, i am basically japanese. i said my prayers, then made the way back down the mountain. it was interesting... though i must admit, i dont feel any different... maybe im turning japanese but only on the inside. ^^ this is one of those things that people in ancient times used to do once in a lifetime.... 

one of the really weird things about ise shrine was the lack of omikuji. when they said they didnt have any, i was a bit shocked.... but i guess ise doesnt want to be liable for handing out fortunes??? 

picture of women tying their omikuji.

the next thing we did that day was visit Pearl Island. it was a super awesome experience. i am not sure exactly how i feel about the culturing of pearls, but i learned a lot. 

women divers traditionally dive to find the clams

pearls!

i got a little doll made from pearls. ^^

on the way back, we stopped for a rest. let me tell you, the rest stops in japan are VERY DIFFERENT from the rest stops in the US... these rest stops had heated toilet seats for one. they also had about 15 different vending machines selling everything from the newspaper to fresh sandwiches. they also had soft serve ice cream. also, THEYRE SOOOO CLEAN! 

this was the view from the rest stop area where we were. are you jealous yet?? 

all in all, it was a beautiful day.  

the next day i went with my friend cara to look at the orchids. i went with mandy to the same place over christmas and theyd turned the orchid center into a winter wonderland. this time the theme was orchids from around the world. they were really pretty. 

im not sure where these are from. o.O

almost every day of vacation i did something amusing. one major event was my move to a new apartment. its quite a huge change for me but like most changes, its not necessarily bad. the good things about this place are: i have much more space than i did before. i have a japanese style bathroom which means i have a very large bathtub/shower area. traditionally people first washed themselves off and then soaked in the bathtub. and the toilet was in a separate room. 

this a sample of a japanese style bathroom. (not mine)

i have pictures of mine but i havent uploaded them yet. lol. that will probably happen at some point this weekend.... but i think you get the idea. large bathtub with a shower head off to the side so you can wash before entering the bath. it makes showering/taking a bath so enjoyable! wherever i settle, i really must have one of these!

my kitchen is also bigger. and i have a balcony. i also get heaps of sunlight! i can have plants finally! the apartment is run by a family and we have excellent customer service. i have a gym, a small library, access to bikes, data center and all my utilities are fixed! my rent is about $200 cheaper per month as well. sounds pretty sweet right? 

the down side is that i live in what they call the "gaijin ghetto". basically its where all the foreigners live. gaijin (slang) meaning foreigner. foreigners are loud and obnoxious. so far it hasnt been too bad. i dont seem to live too close to where the noisy people are. ive also been keeping the exact location of my apartment a secret because i dont want any visitors. ^_^ 

freebell also has a roach problem. in all honesty though, japan has a roach problem. its not like in the states where basically the poor people have roaches. pretty much everyone here has them... though i was lucky in my old building. i never saw one bug. here i know they exist and live... and i am cautiously waiting to find one and then be faced with the dilemma of killing it or trying to capture it and take it outside... though i am pretty sure it will be the former and not that later and that makes me a bit sad. T_T

i also have a roommate. her name is susie. shes a bit older than me and has been living in japan for a year now. she used to work for aeon but now works for a smaller eikaiwa (english school) around here. she doesnt speak any japanese but seems to be getting along here just fine. shes also traveled to many places all over the world... in fact, shes going to turkey next month.  shes a religious person, christian, and not nearly as type a as me. all of these are potential pros and cons in my life but im looking at the glass as half full for now. she seems like a really nice person and for me, that weighs huge on whether or not i can deal with someone.  im sure ill update this more as i get to know her better, but thats all i really know right now. i am cautiously optimistic.  

pics to follow in the next update. ^^

august 6th was the day of the first atomic bombing in hiroshima. now i know as americans, we all learn about wwii and the japanese, etc., but its a totally different experience being here and seeing how it has affected the people as a whole. as an outsider i can understand why so many countries are angry with japan for not showing enough remorse (remorse in the way we think is necessary) but being here and experiencing the culture from within (and feeling the japanese way of showing remorse), i must say its very different than you would think. first of all, at least one of my students brings up wwii once a week. they talk about how japan was/is affected by the war and how theyve changed as a whole. its something that deeply affects a lot of people here. i dont think i heard about it nearly as much while living in america... and maybe its because its a war we won... but ive had many students ask questions like, "whats the difference between nationalism and patriotism?" and other questions that would be difficult to answer even in english.  many of my students talk about the dangers of getting too absorbed in an idea or ideology. its something i think about a lot more now that im here.

being here on august 6th was hard for me. i obviously dont like war. i know the justifications we had for dropping the bomb and i realize that many people in america still think it was the right thing to do... but i also understand that many mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, children... pets... loved ones who had nothing to do with the war, were murdered by the bomb. when looking a friend in the eye, its hard for me to tell them that i feel justified...

many japanese people are against nuclear energy. personally i dont have a problem with it but i also think that in a place like japan where we have so many earthquakes and potential natural disasters, perhaps its not the best place to build a plant with energy we cant control easily. donno. lots of heavy stuff around these thoughts... 

i dont think ive mentioned this but did you know japan is about 73% mountainous? well its true. the total land size is about 11% smaller than the state of CA. That means that almost 100% of the people live on less than 30% of the land. i asked my student if people took to living in the mountains, like people do in CA, and he said no. he said that would be silly because living in mountains is dangerous. lol. of course i laughed and then wondered why so many people insist on doing it in CA. >_<;;

^ obligatory picture of mt fuji ^

the last part of my vacation was highlighted with my trip to osaka. zomg i love osaka. its such a fantastic city. the people are so nice and lively... the city is so warm and more international feeling than nagoya... *swoons* the first day i was there, i met my friend maiko! we shopped a bit in namba and then ate dinner at a famous negiyaki restaurant! it was soooo good! 

maiko is on the left! circa 2009.

maiko and beka thanksgiving 2009!

obligatory purikura 2012

purikura 2

in front of a famous restaurant 2012.

negiyaki. 

negi means onion. it looks like a pancake... its made with a batter made of eggs and onion, etc. you can choose different filling like fish, cheese, kim chi... i had kim chi. ^^

it was sooo nice seeing maiko. it was just like meeting emmanuelle. shes doing wonderfully. she has a job where they pay her to travel around the world checking out hotels and tours that her company provides.... shes traveled everywhere! i am soooo jealous! but i am so very proud of her too. 

while we were in namba, we stopped in and met our old friend junko. she works at a place near where we were and even though she was working until 11:30 pm, she came out to see me. <3 junko is easily one of the coolest people i know... aaaaah!!! sooo happy! it was soooo nice seeing everyone again... i feel soooo loved. <3 i can hardly wait to visit them again.... this time it wont be 3 or 4 years.... 

the next day, i met my friends atsumi and yasuha from ecc.  they are both staff. atsumi works at handa, and yasuha works at toyota, but they are both from osaka. we met about 11am and went to tsuruhashi, which is where korea town is located in osaka. ZOMGIWASSOHAPPY!!! i had amazing food! ok, i guess if you know me at all, i am always eating amazing food, but we had soooo many korean dishes.... the bim bim bap was sooooo freaking delicious... and then we had korean shaved ice and these pancake thingys with syrup inside... *swoons* happiness was all i had that day!

we also made our way around korea town and around all the different shops they had.... we mustve spent about 9 hours on one street alone... o.O i couldnt resist the urge to go into every single shop and see if they had my favorite korean actor Kim Hyun-Joong! and of course he was everywhereeeeee!!!!! eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! 

everything about this guy melts my tiny little heart. lol. so naturally i bought a plethora of stuff... let me show you: 

meet the love of my life. 

korean shaved ice! freaking fantastic! 

a plethora of k-pop/drama idols!

every type of kim chi you could want! and i did! i bought almost 3 lbs for under $5! ...ive been eating it for every meal for almost a week and im not anywhere near tired of eating it! ^^!!!

my loot. look at all my pretty pretty boys. (i am not lying when i say my bedroom looks like a 12 year old girls room....)

and yes... i even bought socks. i wore them today. no shame whatsoever. 

...yes. my life is fantastic. i am so happy i made the decision to come here. i am so very happy here. now i am back in nagoya... boring ol nagoya. its nice that it feels like home, but i am also realizing how much less of a city this is... i miss big shiny lights and having places to go... i am not really a night life kinda person, but i really miss having the option. i also miss having the ability to be in an international city... i also know that i dont have the ability to grow in this city... but my decision has been made. i will spend 2 years in japan (though perhaps not in nagoya). after that, who knows. 

current goals are only in place to keep me moving forward. 

and that concludes another riveting blog....! does your butt hurt from sitting so long? perhaps you should take this time to stop staring at the computer for a while.... lol. o.O 

thanks for reading....!!!